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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Baltimore Named City With Best Quality Of Pigeon Life

BALTIMORE—Noting key indicators such as safety, health, and climate, a new survey published Tuesday in the Wall Street Journal ranked Baltimore the number-one city in the U.S. for quality of pigeon life. “Baltimore came out ahead of pigeon-friendly cities like New York and Boston due to its ample nesting alcoves, the lack of bird-repellent spikes, and the accessibility of dropped French fries and corn dogs,” said the newspaper’s senior editor, Bethany Crandall, adding that pigeons in the mid-Atlantic metropolis enjoyed sprawling public parks and some of the lowest rates of toddler-chasings in the country. “Baltimore has a vibrant and diverse pigeon population, and there are lots of flock-friendly places to raise chicks. The number and variety of puddles is a major draw, and the awnings are world-class. It’s no wonder that more and more pigeons are choosing to make the city home.” The survey also found that Philadelphia was the best city for single pigeons.


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