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Bar Thinks They Have Curling Figured Out

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Bar Thinks They Have Curling Figured Out

DOYLESTOWN, PA—After three hours of watching Canada take on Denmark in women's curling Friday, regulars at the Cargo Grill in suburban Pennsylvania felt they had the rules and traditions of the sport sufficiently sussed out. "We basically think it's like horseshoes but with ice," bar patron Jim Comito said of the 500-year old sport. "The middle part of the bull's-eye thing is worth two points unless they both get their pot-looking thing in the middle. Tommy said they use the brooms to clear little ice particles out of the way, but I still think it's a static electricity thing." By the tenth end, the entire bar felt they had enough information at their disposal to chant "Curl! Curl! Curl!" at the television.

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