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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Barry Bonds In Stands Ruins World Series For Everyone

SAN FRANCISCO—Players, officials, announcers, and spectators agreed that the 2010 World Series was completely ruined after Barry Bonds was spotted sitting in the stands of AT&T Park Wednesday night. "I was overjoyed to be at the ballpark, sitting with my son and watching my favorite team compete in the World Series," lifetime Giants fan Dale Norgren told reporters. "But then I saw that jerk and it just soured the whole night. I couldn't even enjoy my hot dog once I knew Barry Bonds was sitting just 50 feet from me. Fuck." When told the Giants had won Game 1, Norgren said that he no longer cared and that he had given his son's baseball glove to a panhandler.

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