adBlockCheck

Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
End Of Section
  • More News

Barry Bonds In Stands Ruins World Series For Everyone

SAN FRANCISCO—Players, officials, announcers, and spectators agreed that the 2010 World Series was completely ruined after Barry Bonds was spotted sitting in the stands of AT&T Park Wednesday night. "I was overjoyed to be at the ballpark, sitting with my son and watching my favorite team compete in the World Series," lifetime Giants fan Dale Norgren told reporters. "But then I saw that jerk and it just soured the whole night. I couldn't even enjoy my hot dog once I knew Barry Bonds was sitting just 50 feet from me. Fuck." When told the Giants had won Game 1, Norgren said that he no longer cared and that he had given his son's baseball glove to a panhandler.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close