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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Barry Zito: 'My Dad Says I Shouldn't Throw Curveballs Anymore'

SAN FRANCISCO—In an interview concerning his upcoming start against the Nationals, San Francisco Giants ace Barry Zito announced that he would no longer be throwing curveballs in either practices or game situations due to pressure from his father, Joe. "Dad says it could really mess up my arm for good if I throw too many curveballs," said the visibly embarrassed Zito, whose trademark curve has been a key to the success that saw him sign a seven-year, $126 million contract this past offseason. "Dad also says I shouldn't be pitching so much and that I should have a pitch count of, like, 75 pitches. Plus Coach [Giants manager Bruce] Bochy is always using me for both ends of a double-header and then in relief the next day, and that makes my arm hurt." When asked for comment, a disgruntled Bochy wondered if Zito's arm would be less sore if he wasn't also playing shortstop for his traveling high school team.

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