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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Baseball Experts: It Still Early

NEW YORK— Despite the fact that the season is well over a month old and league standings are starting to take shape, Major League Baseball experts confirmed Monday that it is still way too early. “Lots of baseball to be played between now and October, folks,” leading baseball analysts, commentators, and writers have repeatedly said this week, adding that the World Series isn’t won in May. “At the All-Star break maybe we can talk a little more seriously.” Professional analysts stated that while there is still plenty of time, it is too late for the Minnesota Twins.

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