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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Baseball Fans Excited For All-Star Game, Theoretically

MINNEAPOLIS—As the best players in baseball prepare to go head-to-head at Target Field, millions of fans across the nation expressed their excitement for Tuesday evening’s MLB All-Star Game, theoretically speaking. “The most talented and popular players from the American and National Leagues will be on the same field for a single star-studded matchup, so this is a game that everybody looks forward to every year, you would think,” 29-year-old Baltimore Orioles fan Brandon Capps told reporters, noting that the opportunity to watch the game’s very best pitchers, hitters, and fielders vie for home-field advantage in the World Series is one that—at least on paper—makes the Midsummer Classic the premier event of the season. “Just imagine: Clayton Kershaw takes the hill and sends a sizzling 98-mile-per-hour four-seamer to Mike Trout, who launches the ball to center field, where Andrew McCutchen snags it just before it goes over the wall and fires it back in time to catch Robinson Cano before he crosses home plate. In the purest of hypothetical terms, it’s a can’t-miss game.” Capps added that, following the conclusion of the All-Star break, there is nothing more thrilling than watching the second half of the regular season, where one could conceivably argue that every single game is incredibly crucial.

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