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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Baseball Swing So Bad It Makes Joe Morgan Vomit

ST. LOUIS—Moments after watching Cardinals catcher Yadier Molina get fooled into swinging well ahead of a 73 mph curveball, ESPN Sunday Night Baseball analyst Joe Morgan convulsed violently and vomited into the lap of play-by-play commentator Jon Miller. "I was just noting that Molina really took a weak hack at that curve, evening the count at 2-2, when all of a sudden I heard Joe make this awful noise and I felt a gallon of half-digested hot dogs and cheese fries splatter onto the floor, my pants, and all four monitors in the booth," Miller said."Joe said he was fine afterwards, even though he spent the next few innings spitting on the floor and gasping with his head held between his knees." Morgan was eventually able to hold down a few complimentary chicken nuggets, which were themselves forcibly vomited after Morgan was forced to see a muffed throw to first base by Cardinals second baseman Adam Kennedy.
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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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