Basketball Coach Sees Something In 7’3” High School Sophomore

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Vol 49 Issue 10

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DES MOINES, IA—The greater Des Moines area was abuzz with excitement Monday as Iowa’s annual Fashion Week officially kicked off, opening a busy seven days of runway shows and clothing exhibitions showcasing Iowa’s hottest new styles from...

Albany Bucket Museum

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God Worried He Fucked Up His Children

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Justin Bieber Hospitalized After Fainting At Concert

Teen pop sensation Justin Bieber was seen struggling during a performance of “Beauty and a Beat” at a show in London last night before walking off stage and fainting out of view of the audience, and was later taken to a hospital.
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Basketball Coach Sees Something In 7’3” High School Sophomore

CHICAGO—Explaining that he can sometimes spot raw talent just by looking at someone, Kelvyn Park High School basketball coach Keith Burris told reporters Thursday that he sees something in 7’3” sophomore Adrian Patton. “I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s definitely something special about that kid,” said Burris, who added that where others might see another random 7’3” teenager, he sees a basketball player with a lot of potential. “I think there’s a spark in him, and I think he could help us. We’ll try him out as a shooter, but I actually have a hunch the low post is where he’s going to shine.” Upon being invited to try out for the team in the fall, Patton reportedly told Burris that he can’t participate in sports due to severe arthritis.

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