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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Basketball Coach Sees Something In 7’3” High School Sophomore

CHICAGO—Explaining that he can sometimes spot raw talent just by looking at someone, Kelvyn Park High School basketball coach Keith Burris told reporters Thursday that he sees something in 7’3” sophomore Adrian Patton. “I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s definitely something special about that kid,” said Burris, who added that where others might see another random 7’3” teenager, he sees a basketball player with a lot of potential. “I think there’s a spark in him, and I think he could help us. We’ll try him out as a shooter, but I actually have a hunch the low post is where he’s going to shine.” Upon being invited to try out for the team in the fall, Patton reportedly told Burris that he can’t participate in sports due to severe arthritis.

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