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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.
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Basketball's Humble Origin As A Diversion For Hated Giants

Today, genetic freaks are celebrated as sports heroes. But giants used to be shunned and feared. All that changed with the invention of basketball by Dr. James Naismith in 1891.

Giants in Springfield, Massachusetts in the late 19th century were considered a necessary evil. Loathed for their size, which was widely seen as an affront to God, the townspeople nonetheless needed the giants to pick apples in western Massachusetts's many apple orchards. But once the apple-picking season was over, angry townspeople drove the giants out of town.

With restrictive laws that barred giants from owning property in town, they were forced to find kindness wherever they could. The forward-thinking Naismith collected giants he found on the streets and gave them a place to sleep at the YMCA where he worked. Hoping to occupy their time during the winter and build their self-confidence, Naismith invented a game they could excel at.

Town leaders condemned Naismith for mixing with the giants, and rumor-mongers even slandered him with accusations his wife had been stolen by a giant. But the town's youth were fascinated by the lumbering giants and their overpowering game. Naismith incorporated the Giants Basketball Association (GBA) in 1898, which later became the NBA, and one of the most popular sports worldwide.

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New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

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