adBlockCheck

Bassmaster Somehow Has Huge Comeback

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Bassmaster Somehow Has Huge Comeback

KENTUCKY LAKE, TN—Despite being behind in the catching of fish going into the final segment or round or whatever of last weekend's Bassmaster event, angler Steve Kennedy was able to come from behind to win, presumably by catching more or larger fish at what must be assumed was the last minute. "This was one of the best displays of clutch fishing I have ever seen," said Bassmaster.com reporter Doug Grassian, who is almost certainly an expert in this area. "Keep in mind that he had to contend with a fog delay and encroaching spectator boats. Also, it's amazing that [approximately 300 words omitted], all told this man dug deep down the stretch and came through at the end to show us all what being a Bassmaster really means." Experts are still debating whether or not the performance will change the very definition of bassmastery.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close