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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Bat Boy Easily Holds Shane Victorino Back During Argument With Umpire

PHILADELPHIA—Eight-year-old, 67-pound Phillies bat boy Joey Potts effortlessly restrained Shane Victorino from a dispute with plate umpire Ed Rapuano after the center fielder's ejection in the seventh inning Sunday night. "He was really light and easy to push down," Potts told reporters of the 28-year-old professional baseball player. "I was just trying to help because I didn't want Mr. Victorino to get in trouble, but then he was just on the ground screaming that I broke his back. He screamed kind of like a girl." Potts apologized to Victorino the following day during an emotional press conference in which both cried.

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