Bats Shooed Out Of Nation's Waterslide Tunnels In Preparation For Summer

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 24

U.S. Improves Infrastructure With Transnational Power Strip

WASHINGTON—In a sweeping effort aimed at overhauling the nation's aging infrastructure, the United States on Sunday unveiled a 3,000-mile transnational power strip, which officials said would provide Americans with 126 billion new electrical outlets...

American Under-Preppers

National Geographic 8:00 p.m. EST/7:00 9.m. CST Ted buys some balsa wood that's on special; Amy skims instructions on how to can food; Nate's guessed his covered swimming pool would shelter his family from the more lethal parts of nuclear fallout.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Customer Service

Comedy

Bats Shooed Out Of Nation's Waterslide Tunnels In Preparation For Summer

WISCONSIN DELLS, WI—In an annual ritual as regular as the arrival of summer itself, the nation's waterslide tunnels were purged Monday of all the bats inhabiting them. "Go on, scram," the nation's broom-wielding water-park employees said to the bats, which took up residence in the dim fiberglass tubes shortly after Labor Day last year. "Go make your nest somewhere else! It's summertime. There are all kinds of kids who are gonna want to cool down, splash around, and enjoy themselves. So beat it!" Following the successful evacuation of the bats, the water parks' junior employees were sent into the bathrooms to clear out all the daddy longlegs and porcupines that had wintered there.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More