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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record

Forty years ago this week, NASA launched Voyager 2, which carries a gold-plated record featuring pictures and sounds from Earth as well as scientific information, all of which was carefully compiled in anticipation of a possible extraterrestrial encounter. Here are the contents of the record:
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Bats Shooed Out Of Nation's Waterslide Tunnels In Preparation For Summer

WISCONSIN DELLS, WI—In an annual ritual as regular as the arrival of summer itself, the nation's waterslide tunnels were purged Monday of all the bats inhabiting them. "Go on, scram," the nation's broom-wielding water-park employees said to the bats, which took up residence in the dim fiberglass tubes shortly after Labor Day last year. "Go make your nest somewhere else! It's summertime. There are all kinds of kids who are gonna want to cool down, splash around, and enjoy themselves. So beat it!" Following the successful evacuation of the bats, the water parks' junior employees were sent into the bathrooms to clear out all the daddy longlegs and porcupines that had wintered there.

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