BBC Upgrades Flap To Row

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Vol 43 Issue 45

Bush Gets First Veto Override

For the first time in Bush's seven-year presidency, the Senate overrode a veto, for a water resources bill that would preserve wetlands. What do...

Local Boy Trapped In Family

HARRISONBURG, VA—"We're doing all we can," said Lt. Barnes, who coordinated efforts to replace the retarded hand-me-down parka that once belonged to the boy's brother.

Pat Robertson Endorses Giuliani

Televangelist Pat Robertson has endorsed former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani as Republican presidential candidate despite Giuliani's...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Healthy Living

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    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

BBC Upgrades Flap To Row

LONDON—The nightly Ten O'Clock News program on Great Britain's BBC One channel upgraded a minor flap in Parliament's House of Lords to an all-out row Tuesday after Conservative Party leader Thomas Galbraith, 2nd Baron Strathclyde, told the Lord Speaker to sod off. "The fortnight-old handbags suddenly exploded into a proper barney when Lord Strathclyde had an eppy and called Baroness Hayman a 'dozy slag' and then buggered off for a Jack Dash in the bog," BBC political correspondent Basil Islington said. "Needless to say, the other geezers went chicken oriental." The BBC said if the tossers don't jam their tarts by late afto, they will be forced to classify the bull and cow as a paddy, though they haven't ruled out the possibility of a total fucking pagger.

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