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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Bears Giving Jay Cutler A Few Years To Properly Heal

CHICAGO—Claiming they don’t want to rush the veteran play caller, Bears coach Marc Trestman announced Thursday that the team is giving quarterback Jay Cutler three to four years to properly heal from a lingering ankle injury. “For the sake of the Chicago Bears, we feel it’s best for Jay to take as many years as he needs to fully recover,” said Trestman, who reportedly advised Cutler not to worry about returning in time for the playoffs or the 2014 NFL season. “Looking at the big picture and long-term goals of this football franchise, it would be reckless and irresponsible to allow Jay to get back on the field too soon. Unfortunately, high ankle sprains can be tricky and sometimes need one or two hundred weeks to fully mend.” Bears general manager Phil Emery emphasized that Cutler should focus solely on rehabbing the ankle and that signing a contract extension with the team should be the last thing on anyone’s mind.

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