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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Bears Spend Entire Day Waiting Around For Mike Martz To Install High-Powered Offense

CHICAGO—Bears players and coaches spent their first day of training camp Monday waiting for new offensive coordinator Mike Martz to install their much-anticipated high-powered offense, a system Martz originally claimed he would have up and running "right away." "First he showed up late, then he spent most of the morning just figuring out where we want to put the receivers," said Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, adding that his concerns about the installation were directed to Martz's "unhelpful" technical staff. "He was promising us all these huge gains in performance, and said he could give us a bunch of special drills, but honestly, I just want the most basic offense out there." At press time, head coach Lovie Smith had been on hold with Martz for the past three hours.

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