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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Bears Trainers Worried Concussed Jay Cutler May Never Sulk Again

CHICAGO—Bears trainers were reportedly worried about the significant concussion suffered by Jay Cutler during Chicago's loss to the Texans Sunday, expressing fears that the traumatic brain injury might prevent the petulant quarterback from ever sulking again. “Unfortunately, our post-concussion assessments and cognitive testing revealed that Jay has shown a loss of brain function manifesting itself in problems with scowling, a difficulty expressing annoyance, and an inability to bitch about others,” said the Bears head athletic trainer, Chris Hanks. “At this point, it doesn’t look like he’ll ever sulk properly again and will constantly struggle to effectively mope around on the field or the sidelines.” Bears players and coaches as well as numerous NFL scouts confirmed they were confident Cutler would prove doubters wrong by not only sulking, but also throwing hissy fits again like an All-Pro shithead.

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