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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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Beauty Industry Announces Massive New Initiative To Make Women Self-Conscious About Their Palms

NEW YORK—In what numerous brands are calling a potentially lucrative new strategy, the beauty and cosmetics industry this week launched a massive initiative aimed at convincing women to feel self-conscious about the palms of their hands. “Nothing says youth and beauty like smooth, silky palms, and our new line of Palm Perfection products ensures that women everywhere can wave to the world with confidence,” L’Oréal executives said of the company’s new release, one of dozens of recently launched beauty campaigns designed to make women feel deeply and profoundly ashamed of their palms by obsessively scrutinizing every aspect of their size, shape, and texture. “Women won’t believe how different their palms look and feel after just a week of using Palm Perfection. They’ll wonder how they ever went outside without it.” At press time, revenue reports indicated that the beauty campaign was one of the most successful in recent history with over 3.4 million women mortified.

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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

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