adBlockCheck

Beauty Of National Forest Enjoyed By Logger

Top Headlines

Local

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.

Friend From College Wasted No Time Becoming White-Collar Professional

CHARLOTTE, NC—Noting how his fellow 23-year-old now takes business trips and apparently has a company-issued cell phone, local barista Daniel MacKenzie reported Friday that his friend Eric Sanford—with whom MacKenzie attended the University of Virginia from 2011 to 2015—has wasted no time at all becoming a full-fledged white-collar professional.

Waitress Who Took Over At Table Just Doesn’t Have Same Spark As Richard

FREEPORT, ME—Sensing things wouldn’t be the same once the woman removed their empty potato skin basket without so much as a playful acknowledgment of how much they must have enjoyed the appetizer, patrons at Downeast Grill confirmed Wednesday night that their new waitress, Allie, just didn’t have the same spark Richard had.

Man Practices Haircut Request Before Heading To Barber

MINNEAPOLIS—Having scripted a set of lines he hoped to deliver with confidence and decisiveness, local 34-year-old Jason Clyne carefully rehearsed his haircut request several times Friday before heading to his local barbershop, sources confirmed.

Ronald McDonald Statue Bears Full Brunt Of Teenagers’ Mockery

CLEVELAND—Remaining stoically silent throughout the barrage of vicious insults, unsavory accusations, and various other indignities directed at it, a statue of Ronald McDonald seated on a bench outside the fast-food chain’s Clark Avenue location is said to have borne the full force of a group of teenagers’ mockery Thursday.

Woman Leaving Meeting Worried She Came Off As Too Competent

OXNARD, CA—Silently chastising herself for the way she behaved in front of her colleagues and supervisors, Cobalt Property Insurance sales associate Leah Manning, 36, was reportedly deeply worried Tuesday that she came off as too competent during the company’s weekly sales meeting.

Mom Has Stacked Dinner Party Roster

GOLDEN, CO—Their eyes widening in amazement as the 43-year-old rattled off the names of heavy hitter after heavy hitter, impressed members of the Dreeshen household confirmed Friday that the roster for their mom’s upcoming dinner party was absolutely stacked.

Bold Intern Giving Parents Tour Of Office

CHICAGO—Brazenly strolling through the rows of desks while pointing out the firm’s various departments to his two guests, Lodestone Media intern Nate Kapper, 19, made the incredibly bold move of giving his parents a tour of the company’s offices Wednesday, sources reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Beauty Of National Forest Enjoyed By Logger

SAWTOOTH NATIONAL FOREST, ID–The rugged natural beauty of Idaho's Sawtooth National Forest was thoroughly enjoyed by logger Steve Orton Monday.

Logger Steve Orton takes in the breathtaking majesty of Sawtooth National Forest.

"This sure is beautiful country," said Orton, admiring the lush foliage surrounding him in most directions. "Just smell that fresh air."

An employee of the Northwestern Logging Company, Orton was dispatched as part of a team of 350 loggers to Sawtooth last Thursday after the company outbid dozens of competitors for a lucrative government contract.

"I could never work all cooped up in an office," said Orton, placing his coffee mug on a stump grinder, a three-ton machine used to pulverize tree stumps into sawdust. "I only feel at home when I'm surrounded by nature in all her magnificent splendor."

One of the largest national forests in the U.S., the 2.1 million-acre Sawtooth boasts an astonishing variety of terrain, from wildflower-covered meadows to towering mountain peaks. With many areas only accessible by helicopter, Sawtooth is considered one of the most pristine old-growth forests in America.

"I've been a logger all my life," Orton said. "I've worked in a lot of areas, but this is definitely one of the most awe-inspiring. It was so beautiful and untouched, it was almost like we were the first people to set foot here. I know that's not true because people used to camp out here, but they cleaned up after themselves so well, you'd never know it."

Orton, a self-proclaimed "nature lover and all-around outdoorsman," reported that the first tree they felled was especially impressive.

"For some reason, we decided to start with this enormous western hemlock," said Orton, motioning to what is now a 15-foot-wide stump. "During a break, Wally [Dassle] decided to count the rings and there were 160 of them, which means that tree had been here since 1841. Just think about all the history that's happened since that tree was a sapling."

In addition to admiring the trees, Orton said he has "a real soft spot" for the local wildlife.

"You wouldn't believe how many elk we saw over there," said Orton, pointing to what is now a pockmarked, heavily eroded field. "Every morning, before we started work, one or two would come out of the trees into the clearing to say hello."

A section of forest that Orton said "was absolutely awe-inspiring."

"Most days, we see animals while we're setting up camp, but after we begin we don't see them anymore," said Orton while filling the gas tank on a professional-grade chainsaw. "I keep forgetting to take a camera with me to snap some shots."

For nearly a week, Orton has been working on clearing 1,200 acres of the Sawtooth National Forest, with the lumber to be turned into 2x4s or presswood.

"This is an incredible area," said Orton, patting the bark of a Sitka Spruce. "Sometimes, when we're on break and everything's quiet, the rustling of the remaining foliage almost seems to be talking to me."

Orton said that even though he and the other loggers are working, they have set aside time for fun.

"When we first got out here, we'd fish during our lunch break," Orton said. "Russ [Keely] caught a 30-pound Steelhead, and we all got pretty excited. We haven't been able to fish the last few days, what with the logs and all, but it sure was fun while the river was still clear."

With the logging project scheduled for completion March 4, Orton is determined to enjoy his remaining time in the forest.

"Russ and I talked about seeing who can scale that huge one over there the fastest," said Orton, pointing to a 100-foot-tall spruce. "We'll have to do it soon, though, because we're taking it out right after lunch tomorrow."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close