adBlockCheck

Politics

Revelations From Hillary Clinton’s New Memoir

‘What Happened,’ a new memoir detailing the trials and tribulations of Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign, was released today, with Clinton supporters and detractors already divided on its contents. Here are some of Hillary’s bombshell revelations:

Joe Arpaio’s Family Surprises Him With Detained Hispanic Motorist

FOUNTAIN HILLS, AZ—In celebration of the dismissal of his conviction for criminal contempt via presidential pardon, Joe Arpaio’s family reportedly sought to surprise the former sheriff Tuesday with a 30-year-old Mexican national whom they detained on suspicion of having entered the country illegally.
End Of Section
  • More News

Beekeeper Slowly Becoming Bee Hoarder

TULSA, OK—Neighbors of 68-year-old Eugenia Holmes said Monday that they fear that the veteran beekeeper has slowly transformed her once-disciplined passion for apiculture into out-and-out bee hoarding. "Every square inch of Holmes' place is stacked floor-to-ceiling with hives, smokers, netting, honeycombs, and swarm upon swarm of bees," said neighbor Dick Uckelman, who alerted Tulsa police after noticing a 12-foot wide, three-inch deep honey slick oozing into the street from under the foundation of Holmes' house. "I'm worried she may become one of those 'crazy bee ladies' you hear about." While bee hoarding is not illegal in and of itself, complaints of buzzing, stings, and rampant cross-pollination in Holmes' neighborhood are up nearly 200 percent from last year.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close