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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Beekeeper Slowly Becoming Bee Hoarder

TULSA, OK—Neighbors of 68-year-old Eugenia Holmes said Monday that they fear that the veteran beekeeper has slowly transformed her once-disciplined passion for apiculture into out-and-out bee hoarding. "Every square inch of Holmes' place is stacked floor-to-ceiling with hives, smokers, netting, honeycombs, and swarm upon swarm of bees," said neighbor Dick Uckelman, who alerted Tulsa police after noticing a 12-foot wide, three-inch deep honey slick oozing into the street from under the foundation of Holmes' house. "I'm worried she may become one of those 'crazy bee ladies' you hear about." While bee hoarding is not illegal in and of itself, complaints of buzzing, stings, and rampant cross-pollination in Holmes' neighborhood are up nearly 200 percent from last year.

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