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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Ben Carson Slowly Floats Away From Earth

NATIONAL HARBOR, MD—Steadily sailing higher and higher above the bewildered audience gathered outside at the Gaylord National Resort, Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson slowly floated away from earth Friday, onlookers confirmed. Carson, who began levitating above the stage without any warning midway through his speech, reportedly appeared unfazed by the circumstances as he continued to quietly and calmly describe his views on taxation while gradually ascending into the air. Witnesses confirmed that attempts by frantic campaign aides to grab and retrieve the drifting candidate were abandoned after a gust of wind quickly swept Carson further upwards, his body rising past the treeline as he gently clasped his hands together while quoting Thomas Jefferson. The candidate’s soft voice reportedly continued to fade toward silence as his diminishing form climbed ever higher into the sky, eventually reducing in size to merely a dot on the horizon before disappearing into the cloud cover as stunned attendees looked on. At press time, crew members of the International Space Station had reported spotting the candidate smiling as he glided by the facility’s observatory module.

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