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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Bengals Fan Confident This The Wake-Up Call Pacman Jones Needed

CINCINNATI—On the same day cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones pleaded not guilty to assault charges after being accused of striking a woman outside of a bar, local Bengals fan Randall Price reportedly told his friends Tuesday that he’s confident this incident is the wake-up call that Jones needs to turn his troubled career around. “It really seems like he’s going to learn his lesson from this arrest,” said Price of the troubled NFL star who has now had more than 10 brushes with the law. “I’m pretty confident that this actually winds up being good for him and good for the NFL. It provides an example to the rest of the league that after a lengthy suspension and then a few more incidents, a player can finally go on to have a successful career after just one more arrest.” When asked by reporters whether he also saw the off-the-field incident as a wake-up call, Jones made it very clear that he felt “that dumb bitch is lying.”

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