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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Bernie Sanders Refuses Flashy ABC Podium In Favor Of Own Humble, Homemade Lectern

GOFFSTOWN, NH—Saying he would not accept anything offered by the nation’s corporate elite, presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders reportedly refused to use the podium provided by ABC for Saturday’s Democratic primary debate in favor of his own modest, homemade lectern. “No, no—I don’t need some flashy, expensive podium when I can make one myself,” said the Vermont senator, waving off ABC producers as he dragged on stage his own crudely built lectern, cobbled together from several old two-by-fours and some reclaimed plywood from behind his garage. “Like millions of working-class Americans who can’t afford fancy luxuries, I made do with what I had. I won’t take a single thing from any moneyed interests who are just looking to buy influence, be it with campaign donations or shiny, illuminated podiums. That’s not what my campaign is about.” At press time, Sanders had reportedly electrocuted himself while attempting to wire a handmade microphone onto his podium.


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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

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