Besides untangling headphones, which activity consumes more of your time?

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Vol 47 Issue 03

"Late Inning Drama" Episode Guide

Episode 1: Odd Manager Out The Arrows have a new manager, but he's not what he seems. Masters thinks there's a killer on the team, but all his evidence is circumstantial. Meanwhile he's giving up monstrous home runs. Will the team crack their los...

In Memory Of Susan Merriweather

With great regret, we wish to inform you of the death of Onion News Network international reporter Susan Merriweather. Susan, who started at the Onion News Network as Today Now's denim correspondent in 2002 and worked her way up to become one of the netwo...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

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  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Besides untangling headphones, which activity consumes more of your time?

A new government report says 200 million man-hours are lost each year to untangling headphones. On which other activity do you spend the most time?

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