CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

The Onion’s Fall TV Preview

Networks are just weeks away from debuting their Fall lineups, featuring both new shows and returning favorites. The Onion breaks down what to watch this Fall.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
End Of Section
  • More News

Beyonce Releases Teaser Foot Ahead Of Birth Of Twins

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to generate hype for the upcoming release, pop icon Beyonce unexpectedly debuted a teaser foot Thursday ahead of the highly anticipated birth of her twins, sources confirmed. “Beyonce wanted to provide a taste of what’s to come for all the fans out there,” said publicist Yvette Noel-Schure, who explained that the world-famous recording artist had been quietly working on the twins for months and noted how the latest endeavor represented an ambitious new direction for Beyonce compared to her last single birth in 2012. “Longtime fans will love the pudgy little ankle and the captivating, uniquely original toes of this tiny right foot, which Bey produced along with husband Jay Z. Make sure to keep your eyes peeled for when the rest of these twins drop, which will be sometime soon.” As of press time, dozens of articles had already been written carefully analyzing the foot and speculating whether Beyonce’s forthcoming double-newborn release could ever live up to the seminal, widely acclaimed Blue Ivy.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.