Bible Study Group Preparing For Bible Aptitude Test

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Vol 47 Issue 02

The High Reis: Top Playoff Storylines

All the playoff teams are this weekend so I decided to make a post about the top storylines in each game, which are all interesting. As explained to me, the storylines are the things people talk about. But it is more complicated than that. Anyway here are the storylines.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Bible Study Group Preparing For Bible Aptitude Test

ALBANY, GA—A local Bible study group led by 18-year-old Elna Parker has begun meeting more frequently and taking regular practice exams in preparation for the upcoming high-pressure Bible Aptitude Test. "The fact is, if you want to get into a good church these days, you have to do really well on your BATs," Parker told reporters Wednesday as she flipped through a heavily highlighted King James Bible. "My cousin didn't take them seriously, totally blew his Second Maccabees, and wound up in a Unitarian congregation." Parker went on to say that the math section was a breeze, since it was all threes, sevens, and 12's, but memorizing the 3,087 character names is where most people trip up.

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