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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Biden Calls Dibs On Qaddafi's Clothes

WASHINGTON—Interrupting a meeting of the Joint Chiefs of Staff on Tuesday, Vice President Joe Biden called dibs on the clothes of Muammar Qaddafi, saying he wanted first pick of the Libyan dictator's wardrobe as soon as he was deposed. "I've had my eye on those threads for years," said Biden, promising the assembled military officers they could have Qaddafi's print shirts or any assorted hats and sunglasses that Biden didn't want. "I need a couple of his traditional nomad outfits for this sheikh-themed party I'm throwing. And those uniforms with all the medals are pretty sweet." According to sources, Biden was unable to lay claim to Qaddafi's Bedouin tents because Energy Secretary Steven Chu had called them minutes earlier.

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