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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Biden Co-Presents Best New Starlet Award With Shyla Stylez At 2015 AVN Adult Movie Awards Show

LAS VEGAS—After winking and giving a thumbs-up to several female attendees seated in the front row as he crossed the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino stage, Vice President Joe Biden presented the trophy for Best New Starlet alongside pornographic actress Shyla Stylez at Saturday’s 2015 AVN Awards. “This is my favorite category every year—it always gets me hard as a rock,” said the vice president before listing off the names of the nominees and offering an open invitation to each of the erotic film actresses to stop by his room at the Golden Nugget. “While Uncle Joe’s personally squeezed one off to each of the talented and hot-to-trot nominees, we can only have one Best New Starlet. And the winner is.” The vice president then feigned difficulty opening the envelope, claiming that whoever sealed it must have forgotten to wipe their hands.

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