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Biden Shares 20-Minute Post-Debate Kiss With Janna Ryan

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Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Biden Shares 20-Minute Post-Debate Kiss With Janna Ryan

DANVILLE, KY—Following Thursday night’s debate at Centre College, Vice President Joe Biden and Janna Ryan, wife of Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), shared a passionate 20-minute-long kiss that eyewitnesses described as lustful, vulgar, and sloppy. “Janna rushed past her husband and into Biden’s arms. He grabbed her and plunged his tongue deep into her mouth, and then they started going at it like crazy,” said debate moderator Martha Raddatz, explaining that the embracing couple caressed each other’s bodies while fervently kissing and tearing off various articles of clothing. “When the vice president began nibbling on her ears and fondling her breasts, Mrs. Ryan stuck her tongue straight out of her mouth and Biden just started licking all around it. She was literally shaking.” At press time, Biden told reporters he had Janna Ryan “gushing like Old Faithful.”

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