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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

What To Expect From James Comey’s Book

Former FBI director James Comey is writing a book due out next spring about leadership, decision-making, and his time at the FBI. Here’s what to look for when the book is released.
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Biden Urges Paul Ryan To Check Out Nude Scene From ‘Porky’s’ On Phone

‘Get A Load Of This’

WASHINGTON—Leaning toward the Speaker of the House during the State of the Union address and holding up the device, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly urged Paul Ryan to check out the nude shower scene from Porky’s on his smartphone Tuesday. “Hey Paul, you gotta get a load of this,” said Biden, who gestured for the GOP congressman to take a good look at the video clip from the 1981 sex comedy, the audio of which, sources confirmed, could be faintly heard beneath the sound of the president’s address. “Can you believe the rack on that one? That is a grade-A set of hooters right there. You can even see some bush. Man, they sure don’t make locker room scenes like this anymore.” At press time, Biden reportedly offered a bottle of Lubriderm to Ryan before proceeding to pump a large quantity of the lotion into his own palm.


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What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

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