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Politics

Nauseatingly Precious NYC Couples To Walk Around In Rain

The Onion Weather Center looks at New York City where heavy rain causes obnoxious loving couples to come out and walk around the city like a bunch of assholes who have never seen rain before, and an impending blackout gives the city's working class its...

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

What’s Next For Hillary Clinton?

Despite her presidential loss, Hillary Clinton is making moves to secure her legacy and stay a relevant voice in American politics. Here are some of her future plans:
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The President Of Vice

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Biden Winks After Offering To Buy Eggnog For White House Christmas Party

WASHINGTON—During an unexpected visit Thursday to an organizational meeting for this year's White House Christmas party, Vice President Joe Biden winked mischievously as he offered to "handle" the eggnog supply for the upcoming annual event. "Uncle Joe's got the nog under control," said Biden, briefly flashing a metal flask protruding from the inside pocket of his suit jacket. "Old family recipe." Biden's appearance among White House event planners was his first since last May, when he offered to procure "some real fireworks" for the upcoming Fourth of July festivities.

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