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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Big Brown Seen Leaving Belmont Carrying Large Sacks Of Cash

NEW YORK—Shortly after finishing in last place in the Belmont Stakes Saturday, Big Brown was reportedly seen leaving through the back exit of the Belmont stable locker rooms carrying several shopping bags stuffed with cash, which the 3-year-old colt placed into the back seat of his Rolls Royce Phantom Coupe. "I could hardly tell it was him because he was wearing sunglasses, a baseball cap pulled down low over his eyes, and a long trench coat, but I remember thinking he was so tall he had to be one of the athletes," said horseracing fan Jason Larson. "Still, I didn't figure it out until I saw the 'Big B' vanity plates on his car." According to numerous witnesses, Brown spent five minutes urinating on the windshield of trainer Rick Dutrow's car before driving off erratically at high speed.

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