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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Big Ten Peace Summit Fails To End Century-Long Michigan, Ohio State Rivalry

PARK RIDGE, IL—Claiming that the wounds of their past ran far too deep, representatives from the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Michigan Wolverines announced Tuesday that they were unable to negotiate a truce to their complex rivalry at last week's historic Big Ten Peace Summit. "The fact that talks broke down was unfortunate, but that both sides were willing to finally come to the table is certainly a step in the right direction," said summit host and Big Ten Commissioner James Delaney, who was flanked by coaches Jim Tressel and Rich Rodriguez. "Until Michigan recognizes Ohio State as 1973's true Rose Bowl representative, and Ohio State fans acknowledge the legitimacy of Michigan's statehood by immediately halting any singing of the song, 'We Don't Give A Damn For The Whole State Of Michigan,' none of these important talks can move forward." After leaving the summit, both Tressel and Rodriguez were killed in a series of coordinated team-bus bombs.

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