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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Bill Belichick Credits Victory To His God

GLENDALE, AZ—After defeating the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 Sunday to win his fourth Super Bowl title, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick took a moment to credit the landmark victory to his god. “We’ve had to endure a lot to get to this point, but it just goes to show that all things are made possible through Y’golonac,” Belichick told reporters as he stood on the trophy stage, emphasizing that his strong relationship with Y’golonac, the Defiler, has given him the strength to get to where he is today. “Win or lose, I’m humbled by all of the Great Old One’s blessings. I’m just thankful that today the great and almighty Y’golonac gave me what it took to win. Thank you, my lord and savior.” At press time, Belichick reportedly knelt down to lead the Patriots in a team prayer, after which the ground inside University of Phoenix Stadium began to tremble.

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