Bill Bellamy Elected To Rock 'N' Jock Basketball Hall Of Fame

Top Headlines

Sports

‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Strongside/Weakside: Alex Morgan

Despite her recent injuries, U.S. striker Alex Morgan is still arguably the most potent goal-scoring threat in women’s soccer. Is she any good?

Despite her recent injuries, U.S. striker Alex Morgan is still arguably the most potent goal-scoring threat in women’s soccer. Is she any good?

Sexist Pig Has No Idea When Team USA Playing Nigeria

‘What Round Is This Again?’ Misogynist Asshole Asks

NORTHFORD, CT—Revealing just how old-fashioned and small-minded he truly is, local sexist pig Jonathan Scott admitted Monday he has no idea what time the U.S. women’s soccer team plays Nigeria tomorrow night, sources reported.

Owner Tearfully Releases American Pharoah After Triple Crown Win

‘You’ve Earned Your Freedom,’ Emotional Horse Owner Says

ELMONT, NY—Overcome with emotion as he described how much he’d miss his “old friend,” the owner of Triple Crown–winner American Pharoah bid a tearful farewell to the colt Monday before granting the horse its freedom, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Barcelona vs. Juventus

Barcelona and Juventus go head-to-head in a Champions League final that will be watched by millions of incarcerated soccer executives around the world. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Keys To The Matchup: Warriors vs. Cavaliers

The Cleveland Cavaliers face the Golden State Warriors in what is likely their last-ever chance to win a championship for Kevin Love. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

The Cleveland Cavaliers face the Golden State Warriors in what is likely their last-ever chance to win a championship for Kevin Love. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Keys To The Matchup: Blackhawks vs. Lightning

The Chicago Blackhawks face the Tampa Bay Lightning in a Stanley Cup Finals matchup that has hockey fans wondering how late they’ll have to fucking stay up to watch overtime. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

The Chicago Blackhawks face the Tampa Bay Lightning in a Stanley Cup Finals matchup that has hockey fans wondering how late they’ll have to fucking stay up to watch overtime. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

FIFA Assures Fans Investigation Won’t Affect 2022 Qatar Slush Fund

ZURICH—Stressing that soccer’s international governing body will continue to conduct business as usual in the face of high-profile fraud charges, FIFA officials assured the public Friday that the ongoing U.S. Department of Justice investigation will in no way affect the 2022 Qatar slush fund.

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

Global Soccer Tournament To Kick Off In America Later This Afternoon

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Hockey Fans Treated To Rare Sighting Of Zamboni Giving Birth

ANAHEIM, CA—With thousands of spectators visibly emotional after witnessing the heartwarming moment, fans at Monday night’s playoff game between the Anaheim Ducks and Chicago Blackhawks were reportedly treated to the rare sight of a pregnant Zamboni giving birth.

James Harden Pretty Sure He Felt Something Pop In Lower Beard

HOUSTON—Expressing concern that the injury could sideline him for the remainder of the postseason, Houston Rockets shooting guard James Harden confirmed Friday that he felt something pop in his lower beard during last night’s game against the Golden State Warriors.

Strongside/Weakside: James Harden

James Harden has become one of the most potent offensive threats in the NBA, leading the Houston Rockets to their first Western Conference Finals appearance in 18 years. Is he any good?

James Harden has become one of the most potent offensive threats in the NBA, leading the Houston Rockets to their first Western Conference Finals appearance in 18 years. Is he any good?

Bored David Blatt Just Drawing Up Plays For Fun During Cavs Game

ATLANTA—Explaining it was merely something to occupy his attention throughout the evening, Cleveland Cavaliers head coach David Blatt revealed to reporters that he was spending the majority of Wednesday night’s Eastern Conference Finals game against the Atlanta Hawks drawing up plays for fun on the sideline.

Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Blame Breakup On Hectic Sex Lives

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Explaining that the pressures of their day-to-day commitments had given them no other choice but to end their three-year relationship, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn released a joint statement Wednesday blaming their breakup on their hectic sex lives.

Draft Pick Hugs Family That Will Bleed Him Dry Over Next 5 Years

CHICAGO—Upon hearing his name announced by commissioner Roger Goodell during the first round of the NFL draft Thursday, wide receiver Anthony Parker immediately began embracing the family members who will slowly bleed him dry over the next five years, sources confirmed.

Greatest Boxing Matches Of All Time

With Floyd Mayweather Jr. facing Manny Pacquiao this Saturday in what many have dubbed the “Fight of the Century,” Onion Sports looks back at the greatest bouts in boxing history

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Best Playoff Performances In NBA History

With the basketball postseason heating up, Onion Sports looks back at the greatest individual performances in NBA playoff history. Shaquille O’Neal: During the 2001 NBA Finals, O’Neal was absolutely dominant while tearing apart ...

Derrick Rose Pulls Off Perfect 720 At Local Skate Park

CHICAGO—Following his numerous failed attempts at the challenging skateboard trick, sources confirmed Wednesday that Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose successfully landed a perfect 720-degree aerial at a local skate park. Rose reportedly manage...

Keys To The Matchup: Duke vs. Wisconsin

With the NCAA title on the line, Wisconsin faces Duke in a rare national championship game that gives neutral fans only one team to root against. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Kentucky Cancels Practice For NBA Draft Suit Fitting

CLEVELAND, OH—Following the Wildcats’ 78-39 victory over West Virginia in the Sweet 16, Kentucky sources confirmed that coach John Calipari had canceled Friday’s practice so the players could get fitted for NBA draft suits.

The Pros And Cons Of Paying College Athletes

As college athletic programs continue to generate millions of dollars in revenue for their schools, advocates for student-athletes have begun pushing for schools to pay their players, while opponents say that compensating athletes has the potential to ...

Greatest Undefeated Seasons In Sports History

With the University of Kentucky men’s basketball team just four games away from completing a perfect 40-0 season, Onion Sports takes a look back at the greatest undefeated runs in sports history. 1971 Nebraska Cornhuskers: The Univers...

Notable Moves In NFL Free Agency

The first 72 hours of NFL free agency have ranked among the most frenzied and chaotic in league history, with a slew of high-profile players changing teams and signing record deals.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Business

Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Bill Bellamy Elected To Rock 'N' Jock Basketball Hall Of Fame

LOS ANGELES—In what many agreed was perhaps the surest bet in all of sports, former Violators player, coach, and all-around legend Bill Bellamy was elected to the Rock 'N' Jock Basketball Hall of Fame Tuesday.

Bellamy, who was the first player ever to receive 100 percent of the vote, leads a 2009 Hall of Fame class that includes former Blossom star Joey Lawrence, Mark Curry, and Shawn Kemp, as well as Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, chosen for their legendary 1991 halftime performance of "Good Vibrations."

Coolio and Isaiah Rider were also selected by the Rock 'N' Jock Veterans Committee, which consists of Kenny Lofton and Boyz II Men.

Former Bricklayer Dean Cain, who received only 5 percent of the vote, was snubbed for the eighth consecutive year and is no longer eligible for induction.

"This is a tremendous honor and one that I do not take for granted," Bellamy told reporters, adding that while he had known his place in the Hall was virtually secure, he had spent the week nervously awaiting the call from Hall of Fame chairman and Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea. "When I heard Flea's voice telling me I'd made it, tears came to my eyes. I was just overwhelmed with memories of putting on that Violator uniform and lavalier microphone and seeing the 25-point basket lowered for the first time."

"I am very humbled," Bellamy added. "I owe this to all the people I had the opportunity to play with and against, including [current Hall of Famers] Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Queen Latifah, and, of course, Dan [Cortese]. Thank you. Thank you all so much."

"Now I have to get going. I'm hosting a new reality television show where white guys date black women. It's funny."

Winner of two MVP awards and a co-MVP he shared with female hip-hop trio Salt-N-Pepa, the MTV Jams host was not just a Rock 'N' Jock basketball phenom but was arguably the game's greatest ambassador. Bellamy shot a league-best 63 percent from 50-point range, electrified crowds with passing reminiscent of Maravich, and as coach took a chance on Baywatch actor and virtual league unknown David Charvet.

According to official sources, Bellamy's Hall of Fame plaque will read: "William 'Bill' Bellamy, Violator, 1992–1996: The Greatest of All Time."

"A lot of people say Bill Bellamy was the Michael Jordan of Rock 'N' Jock basketball, but I think Michael Jordan was the Bill Bellamy of the NBA," Violators general manager Kareem Abdul-Jabbar told reporters. "Not only was he tenacious on the offensive and defensive ends of the court, but when he did live commentary during games, he was always funny without losing focus. The exact opposite of David Alan Grier."

"He exemplified what it meant to be a Violator," former teammate, player, and Naughty by Nature member DJ Kay Gee said. "But nobody quite remembers that he was an even better coach. Bill knew when to trust his players, like in 1994, when he changed into a fancy suit for the fourth quarter and used a dry-erase board to draw up the game-winning 10-point play for Chris Webber. Also, I'm not sure I'm supposed to say this, but it was actually Bill's idea to trade Vlade Divac for John Salley at halftime in 1992, not Magic Johnson's."

Located in the Loyola Marymount University gymnasium, the Rock 'N' Jock Basketball Hall of Fame holds some of the most treasured relics from the annual two-team contest. Guests are greeted at the front entrance by a bronzed statue of Michael Rapaport begging Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to give him more playing time. Also on display is the first ever 50-point peach basket, a documentary about the history of Rock 'N' Jock basketball narrated by David Duchovny, the red sticks referees used to signal the lowering of the 25-point basket, and the actual ball used by Gary Payton in his historic 250-point game.

Bellamy will reportedly be enshrined in the Hall by Bricklayer player-coach Dan Cortese, his fiercest rival. Cortese, a two-sport star who was also one of the original five inductees into the Rock 'N' Jock Softball Hall of Fame, told reporters that he and Bellamy pushed each other on the court and brought out each other's best.

"There was certainly an intense Russell-Chamberlain, Bird-Magic rivalry between us," the former MTV Sports host said in a statement. "We didn't necessarily like each other, but we did respect each other. I still contend that him telling me I had a booger hanging out of my nose during the opening tip-off in1994 was a cheap way to distract me, and probably led to us losing that game, but I probably would have done the same thing."

Hosted by Mike Myers, the Hall of Fame induction ceremony will be broadcast on MTV on Sept. 12 at 8 p.m., and every hour after that for the next three months.

Next Story