Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 43

FAA To Ban Plane Crashes

WASHINGTON—In what officials are calling "a much-needed policy shift," the Federal Aviation Administration announced this weekend that it would ban all plane crashes.

Man's Utter Failure In Life A Bit Of A Sore Spot

MADISONVILLE, TN—Sources close to local man Mike Ferguson confirmed Saturday that over time they have learned not to bring up their friend's utter failure to achieve anything whatsoever in life, a sensitive topic they said has always been a bit of a...

Lions Fans Excited To Be Booing Again

DETROIT—After their team dropped its second-straight game Sunday, Detroit Lions fans told reporters they were thrilled to get back to booing the hapless franchise.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

LOS ANGELES—With the NBA lockout having already resulted in the cancellation of many games this fall, ESPN.com and Grantland columnist Bill Simmons is somehow managing to churn out upwards of 3,000 words per week on the NBA by continuing to write about the long-completed 2010 season. "Nov. 22 of last year, Thunder vs. Timberwolves, what many may have excused as an early season flirtation between two young squads, but this was more than that: It was yet another example of why Kevin Durant is trade-your-entire-team-to-get-this-guy good," Simmons wrote Tuesday in a post titled "The Greatest Season Ever? (Part Nine)." "I said it last season, I said it in the playoffs, I said it in the offseason, I said it in the NFL preseason, and I'm saying it now: Durant is as smooth and calculating as Omar from The Wire, and I watch recordings of him just as often." Over the past three weeks, Simmons has mentioned last year's NBA season on more than 800 occasions, including 287 times in his account of attending a Los Angeles Kings hockey game.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More