adBlockCheck

Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

Top Headlines

Sports

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

LOS ANGELES—With the NBA lockout having already resulted in the cancellation of many games this fall, ESPN.com and Grantland columnist Bill Simmons is somehow managing to churn out upwards of 3,000 words per week on the NBA by continuing to write about the long-completed 2010 season. "Nov. 22 of last year, Thunder vs. Timberwolves, what many may have excused as an early season flirtation between two young squads, but this was more than that: It was yet another example of why Kevin Durant is trade-your-entire-team-to-get-this-guy good," Simmons wrote Tuesday in a post titled "The Greatest Season Ever? (Part Nine)." "I said it last season, I said it in the playoffs, I said it in the offseason, I said it in the NFL preseason, and I'm saying it now: Durant is as smooth and calculating as Omar from The Wire, and I watch recordings of him just as often." Over the past three weeks, Simmons has mentioned last year's NBA season on more than 800 occasions, including 287 times in his account of attending a Los Angeles Kings hockey game.

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close