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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Bill Simmons Somehow Still Writing About 2010 NBA Season

LOS ANGELES—With the NBA lockout having already resulted in the cancellation of many games this fall, ESPN.com and Grantland columnist Bill Simmons is somehow managing to churn out upwards of 3,000 words per week on the NBA by continuing to write about the long-completed 2010 season. "Nov. 22 of last year, Thunder vs. Timberwolves, what many may have excused as an early season flirtation between two young squads, but this was more than that: It was yet another example of why Kevin Durant is trade-your-entire-team-to-get-this-guy good," Simmons wrote Tuesday in a post titled "The Greatest Season Ever? (Part Nine)." "I said it last season, I said it in the playoffs, I said it in the offseason, I said it in the NFL preseason, and I'm saying it now: Durant is as smooth and calculating as Omar from The Wire, and I watch recordings of him just as often." Over the past three weeks, Simmons has mentioned last year's NBA season on more than 800 occasions, including 287 times in his account of attending a Los Angeles Kings hockey game.

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