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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.
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Billy Ray Cyrus To Speak Out On Single-Payer Health-Care Issue On Politically Incorrect

HOLLYWOOD, CA–In the program's most hotly anticipated pronouncement since comedian Elayne Boosler's historic school-voucher address, country-music artist Billy Ray Cyrus will speak out on the issue of single-payer health care Thursday on Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher. Inside sources say Cyrus, best known for his 1992 hit "Achy Breaky Heart," will argue that a single-payer system places health care in its rightful context as a right of all Americans rather than a privilege doled out on the basis of ability to pay. The hunky, denim-clad Cyrus, who for years had remained silent on single-payer health care, is also expected to finally reveal his much-conjectured stance on campaign-finance reform.

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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

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