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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Binge-Drinking, Promiscuous Sex Good For You, Says 'New Orleans Journal Of Medicine'

NEW ORLEANS—According to a report published in the latest issue of the New Orleans Journal Of Medicine, a number of behaviors long believed detrimental to one’s health—including binge-drinking and unprotected sex with multiple partners—may actually prolong and enrich one’s life. “Massive intake of alcohol instills a deep sense of happiness, which is essential to an organism’s longevity,” the report stated. Random sex with a variety of partners is likewise encouraged: “Exhaustive field research throughout New Orleans indicates that coupling with as many people as possible is a very good thing,” the study said. Other behaviors endorsed by the renowned medical journal include: eating excessive amounts of rich, spicy food; inhaling nitrous oxide; and screaming “Whoo!” as loudly as possible in public. To aid the early detection of breast cancer, the study also strongly recommended that all women between the ages of 18 and 45 annually expose their breasts to cheering crowds.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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