adBlockCheck

Recent News

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Biologists Confirm Foxes Sneakiest Little Fuckers In Animal Kingdom

BOULDER, CO—Validating the widely held suspicion about those sly bastards, biologists at the University of Colorado, Boulder confirmed Tuesday that foxes are without a doubt the sneakiest little fuckers in the entire animal kingdom. “Based on our observations, we can state with a high level of certainty that foxes are indeed the most devious, good-for-nothing shits in the natural world,” said biologist Madeline Putnam, whose team reportedly spent years in the wild collecting behavioral data on the shady sons of bitches. “Our extensive field recordings of fox behavior revealed that these slippery motherfuckers skulk around doing all kinds of dodgy shit far more than any other species. Whether they’re lurking around in bushes or slinking through chicken-wire fences, it’s clear that these conniving overgrown weasels cannot be trusted.” The researchers advised any individual who happens to encounter a fox not to let their guard down for one goddamn second around the shifty-eyed little fucks.

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close