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Bitchy Girlfriend Just Asking For Anne Hathaway To Swoop In, Steal Man Away

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Bitchy Girlfriend Just Asking For Anne Hathaway To Swoop In, Steal Man Away

ST. CLOUD, MN—According to concerned sources, Jill Sagert, 29—a prissy, uptight lawyer who doesn't realize what a great guy her boyfriend Rich is—might as well be begging actress Anne Hathaway to walk into his life and scoop him right up. "Jill better stop acting like such a prim little bitch and start taking an interest in Rich's music, or that gorgeous A-list celebrity is going to win his heart when he least expects it," friend Diane Lineman said. "She better hope Rich never bumps into Anne Hathaway at a bookstore, because once they get over their initial dislike of each other and are forced to overcome some obstacle together, they will undoubtedly realize they're a perfect match." Others close to Sagert said that, unless she wisens up soon, she will probably end up with that sleaze ball Colin Farrell.

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