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A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.
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B.J. Upton Always Dreamed Of Winning Game 2 Of ALCS With Shallow Sac Fly

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Tampa Bay Rays centerfielder B.J. Upton hit a game-winning sacrifice fly to short right field Saturday to defeat the Boston Red Sox in Game 2 of the American League Championship Series, the same scenario Upton said he used to play over and over in his head while growing up in Norfolk, VA. "It's every little boy's dream," Upton told reporters. "You're in your backyard pretending it's Game 2 of the ALCS, you're up to bat, you call your shot—a dinky fly ball directly to the right fielder— and after you barely make contact with the baseball, you jog to first base knowing that the imaginary outfielder will easily catch your pop-up for the out. Then you just stand there and watch as the ball gets thrown to the opposing team's catcher, only for the runner tagging up at third to beat the tag, not because the fly ball you hit was deep enough, but because the runner is pretty fast. And then you join your imaginary teammates at home plate celebrating. I mean, those are the types of situations we play for." Upton later said that he hopes one day to fulfill his other dream of being on deck when one of his teammates hits a single in the fourth inning of Game 6 of the divisional playoffs.

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