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CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

Oh Great, Another Woman Who Only Loves Me For My Complete Collection Of ‘Rurouni Kenshin’ Manga

Well isn’t that great—just great. Here I am, thinking I’ve finally met someone who’s perfect for me—she’s caring, smart, beautiful, and most of all, it seemed like she really got me. But I should have known better. Turns out she’s just like the rest of them, just another in a long line of women who only love me for my complete collection of the classic wandering samurai manga Rurouni Kenshin.

Disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings Not Living Up To Ridicule

LOS ANGELES—Describing the experience as a significant letdown, local diner Eric Tidwell told reporters that the disappointing Buffalo Wild Wings franchise he visited Thursday night failed to live up to the scorn he had long heard about the restaurant.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

Area Dad Needs More Time With Museum Plaque

NEW YORK—Leaning in close to the paragraph of text as his family continued on to the museum’s other exhibits, area dad and Frick Collection visitor Phillip Schermeier, 58, reportedly needed more time with the plaque beside Rembrandt’s 1626 painting Palamedes In Front Of Agamemnon Thursday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

‘Our Town’ Cast Party Going Off The Rails

PEEKSKILL, NY—Describing a wild scene in which performers and stagehands were loudly conversing, laughing, and occasionally breaking back into their characters from the play, sources confirmed Sunday night that the cast party for the local production of Our Town is currently going off the rails.

Thieves Make Off With Museum’s Most Valuable Docents

CHICAGO—In what is being described as a sophisticated and well-executed heist, thieves stole nine of the Art Institute of Chicago’s most valuable docents in broad daylight this morning, according to museum and law enforcement officials.
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Black Executive Prominently Displayed

COLUMBUS, OH—Dennis Swann, 41, the sole black executive at Brooks Capital Management, was once again prominently displayed Monday by the Columbus-based investment firm.

A Brooks Capital Management promotional photo showcasing sole black executive Dennis Swann.

"Dennis is a real asset to the company," said Brooks Capital Management advertising director Blair Katzeff, who used Swann in a newly unveiled print campaign. "Brooks is not the same old investment firm: We've got heart, but we've also got soul."

The ad, which praises Brooks Capital Management as "Committed To Helping You Design Your Future," features Swann strategically positioned among members of the all-white board of directors.

Swann said he was surprised when Katzeff asked him to appear in the ad.

"I'm just the associate manager of the underwriting department, so it's not like I'm among the company's top brass," said Swann, who earned an MBA from Ohio State University in 1991. "But Blair insisted I was perfect for the ad, so who was I to argue?"

Though Swann has not received a promotion since joining the Brooks Capital Management team in March 1996, he has enjoyed other benefits. Last year, he was given a glass-walled office with a clear view of the client waiting area, and he has appeared in the company newsletter 37 times since being hired. And this June, he was chosen to represent the company at the 1999 Midwest Investment Professionals Association (MIPA) conference in Indianapolis.

Swann has also been "strongly encouraged" to attend the firm's upcoming company picnic, at which footage will be shot for use in a new employee-orientation video.

"[Company president] Nathan Modano said he was dying to meet my wife and kids, so I should make sure to bring them along to the picnic," Swann said. "When I told him that Angela and I don't have children, he told me to bring along some of my nieces and nephews instead."

"When the public thinks of the Brooks name, we want them to think of a company that's doing away with conventional boundaries," said Modano, posing with Swann for a photo for the company's 1999 annual report. "Here at Brooks Capital Management, we offer a wide range of services, including investing, underwriting and management of municipal securities, not to mention municipal, corporate and leasing transactions. Now, that's diversity."

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Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

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