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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Blackhawks Attempt To Find Out Why Shark On San Jose Logo Is Eating Hockey Stick

SAN JOSE, CA—Baffled members of the Chicago Blackhawks reportedly scrutinized San Jose's logo Tuesday in an attempt to determine some logical reason as to why it pictures a ferocious underwater predator eating a hockey stick. "Sharks are primarily carnivorous, so it really makes no sense for them to suddenly introduce wood to their diet," said center Jonathan Toews, wondering how a hockey stick would wind up in the ocean. "Isn't a mascot animal supposed to be in favor of hockey? Why then would he ruin a good stick by biting it in half? Also, not to get too nitpicky, but San Jose is inland, so they don't have sharks, unless the shark is bursting up through the rink, which is just unrealistic and stupid." The San Jose Sharks were reportedly just as confused by the Blackhawks logo, failing to understand what a somewhat racist representation of a Native American had to do with hockey.

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