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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Blake Griffin Caught Plagiarizing Dunks

LOS ANGELES—The professional basketball world was left reeling as reports surfaced Tuesday that Los Angeles Clippers power forward Blake Griffin has been caught plagiarizing several of his slam dunks. “We have heard these accusations, and let me assure you that they are receiving our full attention,” said Clippers general manager Gary Sacks, referring to allegations that the former Rookie of the Year stole several iconic dunks from other players without properly crediting them—most egregiously a two-handed overhand slam from the low post recorded in a Jan. 4, 2012 game against the Houston Rockets that experts call a “carbon copy” of a similar dunk previously executed by Chicago Bulls forward Carlos Boozer. “If Blake is found to have in fact stolen these dunks—and we are still making every effort to determine if his rim position, angle of approach, and hang time were in fact lifted from other athletes—then we will hold him fully responsible for his misdeeds. Dunk plagiarism lately has become a black eye for this league, and it is not something our organization takes lightly.” A visibly agitated Griffin reportedly insisted that the only borrowed components of his jams were those taken from public domain slam dunks by such NBA legends as Bob Pettit, Dave DeBusschere, and Elvin Hayes.

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