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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Blake Griffin Claims Basketball Seems Much Rounder Lately

LOS ANGELES—Sharing the observation with teammates and coaches, Clippers power forward Blake Griffin reportedly insisted on several occasions Monday that the NBA official game basketball seems much rounder lately. “Now, whenever I touch the ball, it definitely feels way more curvier,” said Griffin, who appeared lost in thought while slowly running his fingers along the basketball’s surface before declaring that the object looked “extra spherical.” “Maybe they started putting in super-strong circles when they make the basketballs, because I swear right now there’s a whole lot more roundness.” At press time, Griffin had reportedly concluded that the basketball was probably pregnant.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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