adBlockCheck

Recent News

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
End Of Section
  • More News

Bleary-Eyed Cosmopolitan Staffer Cranks Out 10 Billionth Way To Bring Out The Animal In Your Man

NEW YORK—Cosmopolitan writer Melissa Rutherford achieved a journalistic milestone Tuesday, when she cranked out the magazine's 10 billionth article revealing how to bring out the animal in your man. "Surprise him by greeting him after work in a sexy new red cocktail dress," wrote the drained, numb Rutherford, who has advised Cosmopolitan readers how to bring out the animal in their men 135,285 times during her six-year tenure with the magazine. "If that doesn't do the trick, tell him you left something in the kitchen, leave the room, and then come back in the altogether!" Upon completing the piece, Rutherford jumped out a 34th-story window.

More from this section

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close