Blindfolded Panetta Shipped To Kabul In Hilarious CIA Hazing Ritual

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Blindfolded Panetta Shipped To Kabul In Hilarious CIA Hazing Ritual

WASHINGTON—As part of the agency's decades-long tradition of initiation, rookie CIA director Leon Panetta was gagged, blindfolded, and placed inside a large storage container bound for the war-torn capital of Afghanistan Friday. "You should have seen him—he was all, 'Guys, this isn't funny! Guys?'" outgoing director Michael Hayden said. "I can't wait to see the satellite photos of his face after they make him eat six goldfish, spin him around, and subject him to the aggressive interrogation techniques of Jalaluddin Haqqani. Plus, we wrote 'I Hate Arabs' all over his face in permanent marker." Although the 10 masked men who kidnapped Panetta from his Langley, VA office reportedly stripped him down before packing him into the cargo hold, sources said they did give him $10,000 cash and a 9 mm pistol.

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