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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Blissful Ignorance Commemorated On Annual 9/10 Anniversary

NEW YORK—In cities and communities throughout the nation today, Americans gathered by the thousands to commemorate the blissful ignorance of Sept. 10, 2001. “Every year at this time, we pause to remember that momentous late summer day when our nation was united in delightful complacency, utterly oblivious to anything that was happening outside our own borders,” New York mayor Michael Bloomberg said at a 9/10 memorial event, adding that 11 years ago today, Americans were happily unaware of where Afghanistan was on a map or what al-Qaeda was, but happy nonetheless. “None of us should ever forget the events of 9/10—the Broncos Monday night victory over the Giants, the Dow Jones Industrial Average gaining 2.15 points in moderate trading—which profoundly touched us all by keeping us joyously unmindful of the wider world and the growing anti-American sentiment that was about to be unleashed. We must never forget.” As per tradition, the nation’s 9/10 ceremonies concluded with the tolling of bells, candle-lightings, and the annual name-reading of those Americans who naively went to bed that night thinking everything would always be okay.

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Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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