adBlockCheck

Entertainment

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
End Of Section
  • More News

Entertainment

Bluesman Announces 12-Bar Delay In Bringing It On Home

CHICAGO—Area bluesman Willie "Skipbone" Johnson announced plans late Saturday to extend his rendition of the Robert Johnson standard "Dust My Broom" by an additional 12 bars before recapitulating the chorus and bringing it on home.

Blues legend Willie "Skipbone" Johnson, seen here performing on Chicago's South Side. In a surprise mid-song delay Saturday night, Johnson opted to keep it going before bringing it on home.

"We going to keep this thing going," said the Mississippi-born Johnson, 63, officially announcing the delay to an estimated crowd of 250 at Buddy Guy's Legends blues club. Johnson's mojo is widely believed to have been working at the time.

Johnson's backup players, bassist Luther Stubbs and drummer Sonny "Mudcat" Vinson, were the first to be informed of the delay. According to Stubbs, upon the completion of the song's third verse, Johnson gave each of them a sly grin and slight head nod, indicating his desire to keep it going all night long.

The stinging 12-bar guitar solo that comprised the delay was the last in a series of extensions to "Dust My Broom," leaving some in attendance wondering how long Johnson, Stubbs and Vinson would be able to sustain the improvisational intensity of the prolonged instrumental before being forced to take the whole thing on down.

"Man," said Charles "Fathead" Lockwood, a session drummer with Elmore James in the late '50s, sitting in a smoky recess near the back. "Every time he do another D-C-G progression, I think there ain't no way Skipbone can burn it up any hotter, no sir. But ever' time, somehow he do."

While a majority of the blues enthusiasts in attendance were pleased by Johnson's unexpected continuation, relishing the 12 surplus bars of searing, Chicago-style blues guitar, a few voiced concern that Johnson's protracted guitar work might ultimately serve to detract from the song's finish, anticipated by many to be apocalyptic in its mojo.

"No question, Johnson is a great blues guitarist and he did a good job with 'Dust My Broom,'" said David Yablonsky, a Highland Park, IL, blues lover and stock broker. "But in any performance, you reach a point of diminishing returns, and I feel he reached such a point following the verse about his woman leaving him. Had he skipped the extended bridge and brought it on home after verse number two, I think it would have been far more effective."

Yablonsky denied that his opinion was in any way affected by his having to get up early for work the next day.

While the extra effort Johnson put into "Dust My Broom" pleased a majority of the crowd, it also served to fuel speculation that the song would be the last he would play before beginning a self-imposed, half-hour silence.

Peter White, a bartender at Legends, estimated that the band had been playing for "an hour or so" at the time of the delay, and deemed a post-"Dust My Broom" respite likely. "Yeah, he'll probably take a break and then come back," White said at the time. "He's booked to play another set."

Entertainment Video

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close