adBlockCheck

Politics

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
End Of Section
  • More News

Bob Dole For Windows to Replace Bob Dole 4.0

WASHINGTON, DC—Computer users are eagerly anticipating the new updated version of Bob Dole due in stores next week. Bob Dole for Windows, priced at $94.99, will boast many improvements over the previous model, including true multitasking, protected memory space and a redesigned user interface. “Bob Dole For Windows will be the easiest-to-use version of Bob Dole ever,” said Larry Tavers, head of the Dole programming team. “You’ll never use Bob Dole 4.0 or DoleOS again.” Bob Dole For Windows is compatible with all other 73-year-old, Kansas-based Republican operating systems.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close