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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Bob Dole To Build 'Trench To 19th Century'

RUSSELL, KS—In a bold refusal to face the challenges of life in the next millennium, former Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole announced plans Monday to build "A Trench To The 19th Century." The trench, which will begin in the 73-year-old former Senator's backyard, will be dug with a common dirt shovel. "There are many new technologies, many exciting opportunities that await us in the next century," Dole told reporters at a backyard press conference. "And I will be digging a trench away from that progress, back into the 19th century." Dole added that he will not be leading the American people down this trench. "I will go alone," he said.

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